Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
