he shaved USA in his pubs
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
