i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
