Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
