I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
