i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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