Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
