Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My hand turned me down
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
