I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
