Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
