I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
