the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
