everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
A bitchslap is in order.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
