i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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