PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
