I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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