I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
