Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
