I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
