My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
