I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
