I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
