end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
