We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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