She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
