the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
