Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
