guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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