dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
