just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
well you can't waste a boner
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
