Screwed.edu
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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