at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
