so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
