Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
