I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
