I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
pray to the hookup gods
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
