I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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