I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
