Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
