Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
