We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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