i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
