You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
