I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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