I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dicks are not precious.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
