Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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