i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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