She is in my trunk
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
