Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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