just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
