If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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