She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
