You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
